The Feeling I'm Feeling

8th May 2020

12:58am

Day by day,

I'm starting to feel something different,

something that keep bothering me.

And I know what it is.

It makes me feel drained by unexplainable thought. 

I'm happy but the moment you call out my name,

I feel empty but with a lie where I said that I'm fine to people whom asking me.

It makes me to tell myself that I'm gonna be okay, soon.

It makes me ask myself "How it come to this?"

I remembered one thing.

Someone said that when you been hurt a lot by people,

you tend to forgot how to love them back.

And that moment, I don't believe it because I believe people deserve second chance.

Until...

Until it hits me hard.

I'm sorry..

I feel bad at a moment..

I feel like I lie my feelings to them.

But I really love them. 

I know myself,

it just I don't know how..

I need some time,

to build the worship,

with YOU

I'm sorry again..

Give me some time,

To find the answer..

- yinyong-s

A LETTER FOR YOU.

2:03 am

21 April 2020

An empty room

One day,

We just known about each other. 

Sharing our thoughts, stories, interests.

Until we don't realize it almost 4 in the morning.

But we felt like we were close.

Day by day, 

We started have deeper conversation.

And that moment, I realize that I felt this feeling again.

Something that difficult to describe by words because you're the one who feel it.

It become stronger when a day passed by.

Day by day,

The feeling getting stronger.

You were always in my mind.

Every day, every hour, every minute, every second.

What's feeling is this?

Why it keep haunting me every time?

As time passed by,

I lost against myself.

I choose to make everything clear.

To make sure that I don't need to be suffer again.

And the day has come.

I feel relieved.

I don't mind for an answer 

For now...

But yeah, at least I already make it. Make everything clear.

No more dying with deeper thoughts and overthinking.

Thank you for the chance.

Let the time decides.....

-yinyong-